As you may have noticed by my lack of posting, I’ve been having a bit of a strange and busy month. I’ve had a weight issue, a health issue, a job issue and whatever else comes with being in a-middle-of-winter-funk. Plus my shampoo stopped working.
But never mind, I have returned to the frey by buying a juicer (which it turns out is cheaper than ordering a pre-made juice fast online), and what better way to give it a spin than a five day juice detox. From what I researched, the whole concept is simple – drink juice or water for five days and don’t eat anything. Now three or four days in to it, I did read the fine print of “don’t make too much of your juice from fruit” but since I was most of the way in, I politely ignored that advice.
I think my head will explode. Why can’t I think without a thumping, pounding screaming from my brain? Am I really addicted to caffeine? Why is this so painful? What have I done? Why is the sunshine so bright? Am I dying? Stop turning on the juicer, the sound is piercing my brain! (and after a sleep and two panadeine) You know – this juice thing is not SO bad. And also, tea is now juice.
Smug and humble bragging – “No sorry, I can’t have one of your delightful proffered chocolates, I’m on a juice fast”. Pride kept me full. And I may have overdosed on smugness, because I did not sleep well.
It’s not that I want to eat anything because I am surprisingly not overly hungry, but there is a lot of decisions that go in to juice. For example, I had to select a juice from the cafe near work today and I started reading ingredients. Did you know that just saying “juice” on the bottle doesn’t mean that it’s juice? All it means is that it perhaps came from some kind of plant. Not cool. Pulp? Reconstitution? Sugars? Water? – all killers I tell you. I may have been getting a little haughty today.
Friday and I’m feeling fine. More than fine – I’m actually feeling that euphoria thing that the blogs told me about. I wonder if I will EVER need to eat food again? (possibly the euphoria turned a bit crazy) I’m the queen of the world! Everybody do a juice fast, it’s amazing!!!
I think I’m getting a little short with my husband who promised to do a juice fast but all he seems to have done is add juice to his regular diet. It may be because we have people coming over for dinner so I’m technically breaking my fast early and I’m so looking forward to eating (although still, not hungry) and it may be because I haven’t slept brilliantly while on this fast business, but I think I’ll be happy this is over.
I would totally do it again. Reading back, that sounds like I had a tough time and the difficulty sleeping was the worst of it, but nothing I’m not used to with a toddler around. I wasn’t hungry, I’m normally emotionally all over the place, so at least this gives me a reason to be a bit whack-a-doodle and during this fast week. I lost 3 1/2kgs which wasn’t the intent of the five days but sure was a nice bonus.
I also managed to accept a job offer and resign from my job where I’ve been for 7 1/2 years, so the stress of that kept me otherwise occupied and away from thinking about food too much.
I’ve decided that I am a yes or no person – I don’t deal well with moderation when it comes to treats, my indulgence-o-meter is fritzy. Turning it off/cutting out things is the only way to ensure I stick to rules, because like most ladies, I do like to bend any rules which pertain to chocolate.
And my juicer? LOVE. It’s my new best friend – so easy to use, simple to clean and she looks good too. I’ve named her Shirley.